"The worst food in London?"

A review of Nelson Bar by Matthew Eyre written on Tuesday 15th of March 2011

I have lived in London for twelve years. In that time I have had some atrocious meals and some shocking service, but in my quest to plumb the depths of epicurian despair I have found a new winner in the prestigious "Worst Hospitality Establishment in London" category.

Here is what you need to know:

1. The Nelson smells. Bad.

2. A request for a white wine and a glass of water caused quite a lot of confusion. I am a barrister, native speaker of English and former English teacher, yet the staff could not understand me. Luckily I had a foreigner with me, and although she speaks with a thick accent she was understood perfectly first time. Obviously I'm "doing it wrong".

3. It turns out patatas bravas is Spanish for McCain's seasoned oven wedges. Whatever you do, do not order the calamari.

4. Wine was truly awful, simply shocking and cost nearly a fiver for a glass. I have had better wine from a cask bought from Lidl.

Never, ever go to the Nelson, unless you have a fetish for terrible food, terrible wine, terrible service and weird smells..

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